The Real Lives of TBI Wives

The Importance of Sloth Day with Teri Holland | Ep. 45

Ep. 45 | In this refreshing and much-needed episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika sits down with her friend and podcast mentor, Teri Holland, to talk about something so many caregivers desperately need but rarely allow themselves: rest. While the conversation may feel a little “off topic” from brain injury at first, it quickly becomes clear that intentional rest is one of the most important survival tools for women carrying the emotional, mental, and physical weight of caregiving.
Teri opens up about her own experience walking beside her husband through PTSD, the fear and hypervigilance that came with loving someone in crisis, and the way that trauma quietly took up space in her own mind and body. She shares how therapy helped her recognize the impact this was having on her, and how her healing journey eventually led to the creation of “Sloth Day”, a full day intentionally set aside for rest, stillness, comfort, and nervous system recovery.
Together, Erika and Teri unpack the guilt many women feel around slowing down, why rest is not laziness, and how taking breaks actually makes us more productive, more present, and more capable of carrying what life asks of us. Teri also explains the three different kinds of rest, why our brains need quiet space to function well, and how even starting with a few hours of intentional rest can make a huge difference.
If you are a TBI wife, caregiver, or woman who feels stretched thin and like there is never enough time to stop, this episode will feel like permission to exhale. It is a gentle but powerful reminder that your body, your brain, and your spirit all need rest too.
 
Be sure to follow Teri at Success in Mind and purchase your Sloth Day swag!

Luke Speaks: How a Brain Injury Survivor Found Purpose in the Pain | Ep. 44

Ep. 44 | In this powerful episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika sits down with Luke Bohnenberger, a traumatic brain injury survivor, speaker, coach, and bright light in the brain injury community, to talk about the accident that changed his life forever and the purpose he found on the other side of it. At just 18 years old, a simple decision to remove his seatbelt before getting off an exit led to a devastating rollover accident, a severe traumatic brain injury, and a fight for survival that would reshape not only his future, but the futures of everyone who loved him.
Luke shares the heartbreaking details of the crash, the emergency brain surgery that saved his life, and the trauma his parents and family carried while waiting to see if he would survive. He opens up about waking from a coma, the early signs that he was still “Luke,” and the hard reality that came after leaving the hospital, when rage, depression, suicidal thoughts, and emotional dysregulation became some of the most difficult symptoms of his recovery.
This conversation also dives into the survivor side of caregiving, something so many TBI wives long to understand more deeply. Luke speaks candidly about how aware he became of the pain he was causing the people he loved, how hard it was to trust his own brain, and the gratitude he carries now for the caregivers who stayed. He also shares the six pillars he uses to care for his brain and help others do the same.
You’ll also hear the beautiful and hard parts of Luke’s love story with his wife Jenny, how brain injury impacted dating, marriage, medical decisions, and the fear of not being able to give her the life she dreamed of. Their story is a reminder that hope, healing, and deep love can still grow after brain injury, even when the road is messy and uncertain.
This episode is full of truth, humor, heartbreak, and hope. It is a must-listen for TBI wives, caregivers, survivors, and anyone who wants to better understand what life after brain injury can really look like from the survivor’s perspective.
Connect with Luke on all social media platforms at Luke Speaks TBI and his website: http://Lukespeakstbi.com

Hope Beyond the Hospital and The Fight for an Assessible Life with Tina Devall | Ep. 43

Ep. 43 | In this deeply moving episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika Brouillette sits down with Tina to share the heartbreaking and hope-filled story of her husband Dave’s traumatic brain injury. What began as an ordinary workday on the farm in October 2021 turned into a life-altering accident that left Dave with a severe diffuse axonal brain injury, and left Tina navigating ICU stays, long-term rehab, workers’ compensation battles, full-time caregiving, and the overwhelming realities of bringing home a husband who now needs total care.
Tina opens up about what life was like before the accident, the chaos of getting the call while out of state, the long nights in hospital hotels, and the emotional toll of watching the man she loves become trapped in a body that no longer works the way it used to. As a wife, mother, grandmother, and registered nurse, Tina shares the unique challenges of advocating for Dave’s care while also carrying the weight of every decision, every transfer, every feed, every supply order, and every barrier standing between them and the accessible home he desperately needs.
This episode is a powerful reminder that the hardest part of caregiving is often not the physical load, but the mental and emotional burden of constantly fighting systems that should be helping. Tina’s faith, fierce love, and unwavering belief that Dave will one day walk again make this conversation both devastating and deeply inspiring.
If you are a TBI wife, caregiver, or loved one trying to hold it all together while living in the aftermath of brain injury, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and far less alone.
 
Connect with Tina and Dave on their socials
Facebook
Tik Tok
and if you feel led to help Dave and Tina financially with their search for accessible housing here is their GoFundMe

Life After Brain Injury: Support, Advocacy, and Resources for Families | Ep;. 42

Ep. 42 | In this episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika Brouillette sits down with Jamie Arbor, Executive Director of The Supported Living Group in Connecticut, to talk about the realities of navigating longterm support for traumatic brain injury survivors and their families. Jamie shares how his organization has become the largest provider of brain injury support services in the state, offering person-centered care that includes independent living skills training, employment services, residential supports, companion care, recovery assistance, and specialized respite for families.
Together, Erika and Jamie unpack the challenges families face when trying to access the Connecticut Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) Waiver, including long waitlists, financial restrictions, confusing eligibility requirements, and the lack of specialized providers who truly understand the complexities of brain injury. Jamie explains why advocacy matters, how underfunding impacts care, and why families need to ask questions, tour programs, and refuse to settle for services that are not meeting their loved one’s needs.
This conversation also highlights the emotional toll on caregivers. Jamie speaks candidly about the isolation, guilt, trauma, and exhaustion that many spouses and family members experience, while encouraging them to seek therapy, use available resources, and care for themselves so they can continue supporting their loved one over the long haul. From creative support groups to clinical services, family guidance, and legislative advocacy, this episode is packed with valuable insight for anyone in Connecticut navigating life after brain injury.
If you are in Conneticut looking for help with navigating, I encourage you to contact Jamie at jarber@slg-ct.com
As always, I would love for you to join us at Reclaim to continue the conversation and gain support from women who actually get it!

The Hope Hormone: The Science Behind Strength, Stress and Hope| Ep. 41

In this solo episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika dives into the surprising science behind what researchers are calling the “hope hormone.” While lifting weights may seem like just another task in an already overwhelming life, Erika shares how muscle movement releases powerful molecules called myokines that help regulate stress, reduce inflammation, support brain function, and build emotional resilience.
Reflecting on the last five years since Shelby’s traumatic brain injury, Erika opens up about how her early morning garage workouts became more than exercise. For caregivers living in constant fight or flight mode, she explains how even small amounts of movement can help reset the nervous system and bring hope back into the body. If you’re a TBI wife feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or running on fumes, this episode offers both the science and simple steps to start moving again.

Is It Perimenopause Or Is It My Husband? Navigating Hormones, Stress, and Caregiving| Ep. 40

In this episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika Brouillette sits down with natural health practitioner Kate McDowell of Aligned Natural Health to explore a question many caregivers silently ask themselves: “Is it perimenopause, or is it my husband?”
For women caring for husbands with traumatic brain injuries, life often means living in constant survival mode. The chronic stress, emotional load, and mental exhaustion of caregiving can deeply impact a woman’s nervous system and hormones, making it difficult to know what symptoms are coming from perimenopause and hormonal changes versus the effects of long term stress.
Kate shares her personal health journey after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 22, and how she eventually became symptom-free through holistic health approaches, nutrition, and nervous system work. Now, she helps women navigate issues like perimenopause symptoms, adrenal stress, hormone imbalance, emotional overwhelm, and caregiver burnout using neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and subconscious mindset work.
Together, Erika and Kate unpack how living in fight-or-flight caregiving mode can disrupt hormones, impact adrenal health, and intensify common symptoms like mood swings, rage, fatigue, brain fog, weight gain, irregular cycles, and anxiety.
They also explore how subconscious patterns and emotional stress responses can shape how we react to our environment and how learning to regulate the nervous system can help women reclaim a sense of control, calm, and emotional balance in the midst of caregiving.
If you’re a caregiver wondering whether your hormones, stress, or survival mode are driving the changes in your body and emotions, this episode will help you understand what may be happening beneath the surface and remind you that you’re not alone.
If you'd like to book a consultation with Kate, contact her at info@alignednaturalhealth.com
Join Kate at Why It’s Easy to Show Up for Others but Hard to Show Up for Yourself https://meetu.ps/e/PQcTm/vvWVw/i

Love in the Long Haul: Two Decades as a TBI Wife | Ep. 39

Season 3 Episode 39: In this episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika sits down with Peg Clark who opens up about what it really looks like to love, grieve, and care for the same man, after a traumatic brain injury changes everything. Peg and Cliff’s story begins like a movie, high school sweethearts in a snowy Michigan December, but their “forever” took a hard turn almost 21 years ago when Cliff suffered a head injury at work and was sent home from the hospital with no diagnosis, no plan, and no support.
Peg shares the shock of watching the man she married become a “reasonable facsimile” of himself, and the long road of piecing together what was happening while fighting for short-term disability, long-term disability, and Social Security. She talks candidly about the invisible losses that come with a frontal lobe injury: personality changes, emotional disconnect, panic attacks, short-term memory challenges, no filter, and the constant tension of loving someone who can’t always understand the impact of their choices.
You’ll also hear Peg’s reality as a long-term caregiver: the anxiety of leaving her husband home alone, returning to “worst case scenario” falls, the moment she had to take driving away for safety, and how hospital stays don’t feel like breaks when you still have to be the historian, the advocate, and the voice. Peg also shares a scary season in Michigan involving a cannabis-induced psychosis, and the hard truth that sometimes you have to be a quick thinker and make decisions for someone who can’t see the danger.
Peg also speaks honestly about humor as survival, love as commitment, and how acceptance has become a daily practice. She touches on family dynamics, grief in relationships, grandkids who “get” their grandfather in a way adults sometimes don’t, and the importance of finally building a village when self-sufficiency stops working.
If you’re a TBI wife who feels like your world revolves around keeping someone safe, managing the medical system, and carrying the mental load alone, this episode will make you feel seen. Peg’s story is a reminder that long-term caregiving is complicated, deeply human, and still worthy of tenderness.

The System Isn’t Built for Brain Injury: Dr. K. Reyna on Truth, Trauma, and Change

Season 3 | Ep. 38
In this powerful episode of Real Lives of TBI Wives, Erika Brouillette sits down with Dr. Kay Reyna, a first responder wife/accountant turned researcher whose family’s life changed in an instant when her husband, a North Carolina Highway Patrol Master Trooper, was catastrophically injured on duty. What followed wasn’t just the trauma of a severe traumatic brain injury, but a long, exhausting fight to get his brain injury recognized and treated, as workers’ compensation minimized his symptoms, delayed care for years, and pushed the narrative that he was simply “uncooperative.”
Dr. Reyna shares what it was like to raise three children while advocating for a husband who couldn’t advocate for himself, navigating surveillance, court battles, and the crushing weight of being dismissed when you know something is deeply wrong. And then, she shares the part you don’t hear often: how they rebuilt a life through adaptive sports, community, and the kind of hope that shows up even when the system doesn’t. Her journey from finance to earning multiple degrees, including a doctorate, is a testament to what can happen when pain becomes purpose.
Today, Dr. Reyna is using her voice and her research to fight for survivors, caregivers, and children living in homes impacted by brain injury. She’s inviting the TBI community to participate in current studies so these lived experiences stop being “anecdotal” and start driving real change. This conversation is honest, emotional, and packed with validation for every caregiver who’s ever been told, “There’s nothing we can do.”
If you are a caregiver or family member of a TBI survivor, please fill out this survey and help with the research and to make a change in the support we receive
Check out more great links highlighting Dr. Reyna's work:
https://news.gcu.edu/gcu-news/three-gcu-degrees-are-researchers-therapy-and-hope-for-others-after-tragedy/
https://www.wral.com/story/after-injury-trooper-forced-to-fight-for-care/14610962/
https://youtu.be/TakSqw1yJd8?si=-dw85Nx8esdaA4_C
https://www.challengedathletes.org/blogs/humberto-reyna/
https://www.electric.coop/ride-2-recovery-electric-cooperative-bond
Connect with Dr. Reyna at the following:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-patricia-kay-reyna-333703136/ https://cbirt.org/about/people/patricia-kay-reyna operationhomelandhonor.org

Reclaiming My Year: A Journey of Reconnection, Rebuilding, and Radiating | Ep. 37

In this final episode of the year, Erika Brouillette opens her heart and shares the truth of what the last twelve months have looked like—messy, stretching, humbling, beautiful, and nothing short of transformative. From reaching out to an old family friend who unexpectedly became a life-changing guide, to launching the Real Lives of TBI Wives podcast in April, to watching a community rise up around her in ways she never could have planned… this episode is a reflection on what happens when you say “yes” to growth even when the circumstances aren’t ideal.
Erika walks listeners through the unexpected plot twists of the past year—TikTok Lives with Lalli that are breaking down walls in the TBI world, a sudden hernia surgery that forced her to receive care instead of always giving it, caregivers stepping into her home, major financial decisions she never planned to make, and the raw frustration of navigating seven weeks without Medicaid while fighting daily for her husband’s basic needs. Yet through every challenge, breakthrough, and blessing, one thing became clear: this was a year of becoming.
As Erika reconnects with who she is, rebuilds the parts of life that were stretched thin, and radiates with a renewed sense of purpose, she invites listeners to do the same. This episode is an honest, hope-filled reminder that growth often happens in the hardest seasons—and that even when life asks more of us than we feel we have to give, we are never alone.
If you’re a caregiver, a TBI wife, or someone rebuilding your life in real time, this one is for you.
 
Be sure to join us as you are at Reclaim to join a group of other women who get it!

Holding It All Together: Sheila Baugh’s Life of Persistence | Ep. 36

In Episode 36, Erika sits down with Sheila Baugh—a fiercely devoted wife and caregiver navigating life after her husband Rob’s traumatic brain injury in July 2020. From their sweet beginning on a blind date in the ’90s to the life-altering accident that changed everything, Sheila opens up about the realities of loving someone through TBI: the medical maze, the career disruptions, the emotional toll, and the moments of grace that keep her going.
Sheila shares candidly about juggling their family’s needs while advocating for Rob’s care, fighting for services, showing up to endless appointments, and learning to rebuild their life one day at a time. She talks about redefining marriage after injury, the power of community support, and the importance of self-care—even when it feels impossible. Her story is raw, relatable, and a reminder that while TBI changes everything, it does not erase love, commitment, or hope.
This episode shines a light on the unseen battles TBI caregivers face daily—and celebrates the resilience, courage, and unwavering commitment that define the journey.